Questions of ‘belonging’ ran deep this week after the late Queen’s lady-in-waiting Lady Susan Hussey, repeatedly asked a Black British charity boss: “where are you really from?” during a palace charity reception.
It was reported that Ms Ngozi Fulani, a charity founder of the domestic violence charity, Sistah Space, had her long dreadlocks moved to one side so her name badge could be seen, she was then asked, “Where do your people come from?”
The unexpected and bizarre probe into Ms’ Fulani’s identity and background intensified when Hussey, the godmother of prince William, further questioned Ms Fulani asking, “what part of Africa do you come from?” and “when did you come to Britain?”.
Ms Fulani, who was born in London and lived and worked in Britain all her life, said her interaction with the royal aide felt like an interrogation and left her feeling forced to “denounce her British citizenship”.
Is it ok to ask the question “Where are you really from?”
On the face of it, I’d say yes. I think it is generally ok to ask the question. What might come across as a simple innocuous question could immediately transpire into a microagressive one sending a message that one does not belong. And with the added empathise on the word ‘really’ this could naturally gain a concerning response and reaction.
But, if like me you have a genuine interest in travel, culture and history, you’ll certainly be familiar with asking the question ‘where you are from?’ It’s a natural icebreaker particularly when meeting someone for the first time. Knowing and understanding a person’s cultural makeup and background could increase dialogue and create a real sense of ease and comfort between you and a total stranger, particularly in an unfamiliar setting. But Lady Hussey’s persistent questioning of where you are ‘really’ from was Indeed, a stretch too far.
What lurks behind this seemingly innocuous question for many people who have found themselves asking it, perpetuates the false paradox that it is impossible to be Black and British. And the idea that someone ‘belongs’ simply based on the colour of their skin, is absurd. It sets dangerous territory and creates a precarious state of identity for people of colour. But the reality is, more times than not, this is often the case for Black people of African descent, who are often perceived as inherently foreign regardless, and therefore outside the boundary of full British citizenship.
If you’re Black, or racially ambiguous in the slightest, and as in the case of Ngozi Fulani, you proudly boast a ‘foreign’ name, adorn yourself in unconventional British attire and style your Afro hair naturally in dreadlocks- never mind if you were born in Britain or not- it’s likely that you have been on the receiving end of the question where are you “Really” from?
It’s a sensitive question, and if not asked with diligence it could arguably be one of the most haunting and offensive questions to ask someone. It creates distance, confusion and further isolates the parties involved. It assumes that the Black experience in Britain is transient, and it undermines the relentless and long struggle for equality for many communities. For example, the Windrush generation who were invited to Britain as Commonwealth Citizen to help rebuild the country after the second world war. Just like any white British citizen, they too have the right call Britain home!
Let’s hope that lessons are learned from this story that has dominated the news headlines for several days now. It’s an opportunity for us to all think about the place we call home and what and why we feel accepted. It’s also a chance for us to reflect on our preconceived ideas about race, belonging and British citizenship.
